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It gives me great privilege to share with those whose curiosity about the language of Sanskrit has overcome them and driven them to the moment whereupon they might seek knowledge of it, and a more in-depth understanding of its meaning from the sound of each letter forward.  That this phonetic approach to a fuller understanding of Sanskrit is based upon inquiry after self-realization, is most pleasing to me as a teacher, and as one whose life has been so devoted to advaita Vedanta.  I have much to share with you.

As a saadhu placed upon the surface of the earth for many years, and that also by political writ, I had thrived and wandered as a mendicant.  Although further gifted with the teaching unto the hallowed Blackbelt in Chung Do Kwan Tae Kwon Do, which proficiency in knowledge of self-defense had made my equalization with the great world possible, there are no words to describe sufficiently the life I thus knew.  Many who heard of my situation at the time I renounced all material things and worldly pursuits, felt that the mission which I had observed along with them and which was placed before me, would prove to be impossible.  A lady whom I respected from my first karate school, whom I had taught, and whose three children I had taught alongside her, carefully told me that she thought for me to live in the world and to see no harm come to me, to escape death, was impossible; and when I disagreed with her, she with an even face told me I was crazy.  I relied upon the Bhagavad Gita at the time for my daily contemplations upon the tenets of truth which embrace the concepts of death, battle, war and the battlefield that is the mind, in my   saadhana, or means of approach to spiritual knowledge and know-how.  Although I understood this lady's concern for me, I relished the opportunity to express to her that I could refute her with active success.   Although I knew that only time would tell her the truth of the outcome of my evenness of mind in my bold quest for spiritual source, sustenance and preservation in the face of the unknown dangers I would countenance, I had happened upon her in a park in Brooklyn at an outdoor art show, so that I was glad of the chance meeting, seeing God's will to hear her challenge that day.  For that challenge from a fellow spiritual seeker such as herself,  amounted to my countenance of her inquiry after higher truth through myself.  This was the apical moment of all the teaching I had ever given her in karate, that I would show her my mind for fearlessness in the face of the need for self-defense.

For years I did wander on the vast cityscape of New York City with no visible source of sustenance, and relying upon meditative states in lieu of sleep.  My practice in the parks of hallowed Tae Kwon Do enlightened me further, and did indeed preserve me.  My mission grew as the years passed, and I was pleased to learn and to contribute in the solving of the Cold War to the extent of the Soviet Union during the Reagan administration.  I had met Swami Dayananda of India, indeed, India's foremost teacher of Vedanta, and this great teacher stood by me in those years of my intense renunciation and wandering.  I followed him on his spiritual tours throughout North America each summer when he would visit the United States, and so was I gifted with his teaching of Vedanta in the public forums where he would conduct short classes in lecture style.  

After some time Swami Dayananda settled into a traditional gurukulam  in Pennsylvania, and I was pleased to think that I might be finally delivered unto a place.  However, there was no full accommodation there for me, and so I moved to Pennsylvania to so seek my religious freedom.  I felt that the ethics for myself from our society to me should be tested.  Tested they were, and to read more of my life as a religious renunciate and the strife concomitant with the long-standing rejection I have known by the society of Swami Dayananda, please see the links below for epic poems on the topic:  Freedom Source and Freedom Camp.  Thus, to summarize for you the sad outcome of my blind devotion to Swamiji and to his society, I am no longer an active saadhu at all, and have suffered immense losses in what religious freedom I had known as a wanderer and then as a religious ascetic living in a Vedic campsite in Saylorsburg, Pennsylvania.  

Thus it is with special dispatch that I exhort you readers, students, scholars and seekers who visit here at Sound and Light  to regard this Web site as a gift from me to you in the name and deed of truth.  For those among the followers of my Beloved  have limited my attendance at the gurukulam in Saylorsburg for their own eccentric reasons which are  beyond my comprehension.  In so doing, they  have rejected the truth as it might have led us, if only had they allowed a successful discourse, an inquiry at my level, to occur between me and Swami Dayananda.  This is their long-standing political posture and resultant game with myself and my Beloved, to whom I am betrothed.  I have now measured up to these political thinkers who exert control over my destiny as they see it, and which is of course their delusion since it denies the heart; I no longer seek the religious life with them at all.  Instead, my work centers  upon teaching some of what I know here at Sound and Light, since the Devotees upon whom I had relied for a work slate in Vedanta will not honor my knowledge.  I am a self-taught writer and contemplative in the language of Sanskrit, and have received profound censorship from the members of the community of Vedantins in Saylorsburg.

My answer is to carry with me the memory of my now expired desire to affiliate with the people of Saylorsburg as a saadhu, since the years of my life working at almost odd jobs, when I am an educated scientist and a published one, have taken their toll upon my hopes.  I could easily make a better contribution as a scientific researcher, thinker and teacher, and that is my newly formed slate.  

This personal message is rendered to those of you who might have the sensitivities to wonder after the gross differences in what is available for you to learn from me in terms of spiritual knowledge at this Web site, versus my lack of approved status among my own religious people.  It has been my experience that the followers of my Beloved politick ruthlessly against my success in anything I do or undertake in the way of interest.  They have resorted to tactics beyond description in so leading the people against me.  That is why I am publishing here at Sound and Light, so as to establish the truth of my genius in Vedanta, that I might pose a political escape from their oppressive policies and unjust mentality towards me.  You, my dear people, can assist me in this just by your prayers and participation with me at this Web site.  The truth alone will save me from further destruction and threat by the errant followers of this great teacher, in whom I still hold the faith and await. 

Know that this autobiographical sketch only offers you a glimpse of the way in which Vedanta and Sanskrit have guided me, preserved me and allowed me to lead as I might through all opposition to the simple peace in my daily life.  Years ago, Swami Dayananda quoted a scripture in Sanskrit which stated that organized religion does not work.  What knowledge and mastery one gleans from this study is highly individuated in the life of any seeker, whether of prodigious knowledge and gigantic feat or not.  No political body owns the knowledge of a saadhu, nor the destiny of the same, and to practice casuistry upon a holy person is detrimental to that person as well as to those who undertake such misguided ethics.  I propose that for me to open up my knowledge to you people will also pave the way for me to realize my own once again and as according to the tenets of freedom for which this democracy stands, since the truth will become my guide only as I establish it through those with the honor to recognize it.  And it is my intent to mention these things to you with the greatest sense of purpose, that you will shield me from the wrong doing I am bound to suffer as I shed the shackles of oppression placed upon me by my religious society for so many long years now, by opening up a source book here at Sound and Light: The Sanskrit Primer of Metaphysics.  

My love for truth is what has preserved me, and I extend it to you herein as truth may be your vehicle as it is mine.   

In God's faith,

Marilynn Stark



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